The Mobius High Times
by TuringTest
Summary: Mobius High School's hottest newspaper is finally published! The paper has a wide variety of stores like: news, student opinions, features, sports reports, entertainment, and all articles in between. Enjoy a cup of hot coffee as you read the student newspaper for Mobius High School (where Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles and everyone else in the Sonic Universe attend).
1. Back to School

After a long, beautiful summer, classes have started again for Mobius High students. Summer gave students a three month break from the educational system, and Mobius High students took exotic vacations, new seasonal jobs, and so much free time that it would make an eternity look small by comparison.

Senior Class President, Sonic the Hedgehog, said he took a luxurious vacation to Wave Ocean. "I had a blast swimming with killer whales. I even met a princess while I was there," Sonic recalled. The beach life seemed to have left him a bit red for he had sunburn on his arms and stomach. "I put on sunscreen," he claims.

Sophomore Miles Prower placed first in a national robotics competition. The event was two weeks out of July and had people from all over the country to build robots, program them, and then have them fight to the death. "I had my doubts when I was in some rough battles," Tails explained, "but I knew that in the end I would be able to overcome anyone with my mech-warriors."

In relation to seasonal summer work, Junior Amy Rose landed a job in the fast food industry. "I was a bit unsure about working in fast food at first, but I was so happy whenever I saw a special someone had order a chilidog at my work," Amy said. She claims that her work's chilidogs are the best in Mobius because they use real hotdogs.

This school year should have a plethora of changes to come, according to Principal Robotnik. "I guess you could say I have a whole lot planned for this upcoming school year," he smirked.

With the bustling school year coming to a start, students are reminded to follow all new disciplinary guidelines the school has set. This includes but is not limited to: no teleportation during hours, no bringing of weapons such as hammers, dummy rings, or guns, no stealing from the chemistry lab's chemical closet, and lastly no time traveling or between dimension traveling.


	2. New Teachers at Mobius High

Three new teachers have joined the staff force at Mobius High.

Ms. Vanilla the Rabbit is the new addition to the English Department. Vanilla has her master's degree in English as well as Drama. "I had always love theatre, so I decided to get my Drama teaching qualifications while I studied English," she said. Her room is 502 in the English hallway. Daughter of Vanilla, freshman Cream the Rabbit, is also a new addition to the school.

"Some might think it is odd to have their parents working at their school," Cream said, "but I think we will have a lot of fun together!"

Mr. Vector the Crocodile is joining the staff as the newest gym teacher. He said that his previous job was in the detective business, but he wanted to do something more relaxed. "I know the job won't pay as well as my old one," Vector frowned. "I guess it's not always about money though." Along with teaching gym class, Vector will be the coaching the football team in autumn, and the tennis team in spring.

Senior Sonic the Hedgehog told his opinion on the new head coach: "I have being wanting a new coach for tennis since I started as a freshman. I just hope we can finally listen to music during practice since he has his headphones on at all times."

The math team has received some upgrades with the new robotic teacher Mr. Omega. Principal Robotnik built the robot specially to teach complex math concepts. "Omega is entirely my design," Robotnik explained. "Not only can he teach basic math like Algebra and Geometry, but higher, college level material like Calculus and Statistics."

"I am pleased to be working at Mobius High School," Omega processed. "I plan to teach my students to their highest efficiency and expand their knowledge."

Returning teachers are also excited to continue teaching at Mobius High.

Science teacher Professor Pickle spoke about his return to Mobius High: "I bet you thought I was going to retire, didn't you? I was merely on a trip to other countries for research. I am a world renounced professor of science after all."

Mr. Big the Cat, teacher for Family and Consumer Sciences, was unavailable for opinion because he was asleep.


	3. Mobius High Wins Homecoming Game

The tensions were high last Friday night when the Mobius High Saints football team took on the Black Arms High Demons football team for the homecoming game. The first half was depressing for Mobius with a score of 0 Saints, 21 Demons. The players felt down after one of their linebackers, senior Shadow the Hedgehog, took a devastating blow which caused a sprained ankle.

"I didn't know I was hit so hard at first," said Shadow, "but when I tried to stand, I collapsed upon myself." Shadow was taken to the emergency room where he received proper care. He will require crutches for the next school week according to the doctors.

With Shadow out, it seemed that the Black Arms High Demons would defeat the Mobius High Saints; however, quarterback senior Knuckles the Echidna wouldn't let his team lose this vital game. During the half, Knuckles spoke to his team mates and devised a new plan to defeat the Demons. Knuckles said he could not give away the speech he gave because it contained classified information and he also couldn't remember.

Nonetheless, his speech empowered the Saints and they played the last half with all they had. The game ended with a score of 43 Saints, 21 Demons. The ending score showed their true power with not letting another ball pass the in-zone, along with several sacks on the Demons quarterback.

The winning of the homecoming game signifies a great year for Mobius students and a rocking homecoming dance to be held.


	4. Opening Night with Neon Lights

Over 85% of the Mobius High's students attended the homecoming dance. This signifies the largest turn-out for any homecoming event held at Mobius High.

The theme of the night was "Starlight Carnival." Dozens of electric rope lights, laser beam lighting effects, and a full colored disco ball illuminated the night in a scintillating array of hues. Magenta, yellow, and cyan lights flickered all throughout the dance to electrify the night's guests. The carnival side of the theme was also present with carnival games being inside the gymnasium for students to press their luck.

Junior Jet the Hawk tried his talents at a basketball booth. "I really don't do other sports than track and field, but I was able to get a cool necklace for making at least one shot," he said.

At the shooting gallery, senior Shadow the Hedgehog proved he was a true gunslinger by earning a perfect score. "You act like you expected less from me. When it comes to guns, I am the best shooter there is," he boasted. He received four Chaos Emerald candy bars for his perfect score, but one was lost or stolen before the night ended. If you find his fourth Chaos Emerald candy bar, please bring it to the main office.

Partygoers had countless fun with the students, and staff, busting moves on the dance floor. Even Principal Robotnik showed his stuff in a dance battle against senior Sonic the Hedgehog.

"If you want my honest opinion," told junior Amy Rose, "Sonic stole the show with his breakdancing!"

Mr. Omega claimed that Principal Robotnik was the real show stopper with his version of the cabbage patch.

The annual homecoming dance proved to be the perfect start to the new school year according to junior and school dance committee chair Silver the Hedgehog. "All the colors sure were pretty! What makes it even better is that the lights will be used again for next year!" said Silver.

He told that next year's homecoming will not be "Starlight Carnival," but still a night filled with tons of color. He hinted at something more casino night themed.


	5. Advice Column 1

Dear Mobius High Advice,

I have been trying to get this guy I like to notice me for a long time now, but he acts like he never sees me! We have the same friend group and I know all his favorite foods and I try to talk to him all the time. What can I do to get this blue hedgehog to see me?

-Rosy the Rascal

Dear Rosy the Rascal,

It seems to me like you are trying too hard to get this guy. Maybe you should ease off and even ignore him from time to time. Playing hard-to-get sometimes can work, and he will definitely notice your change in character.

-Mobius High Advice

Dear Mobius High Advice,

I am really nervous for one of our upcoming games. As tough as I am, I still have fears that I will not be able to help out my teammates. I don't want to throw the game for my team. What can I do to be a better player?

-Tougher Than Leather

Dear Tougher Than Leather,

Being worried about your performance in any sporting activity is natural. We all want to win and do not want to let our team down. If you want to guarantee you are a valuable player then you should practice, practice, practice. That may seem a bit cliché, but practicing really does improve performance. That is not my opinion either; that is scientifically tested fact. Good luck on your next game, and with more training, you shouldn't need luck at all!

-Mobius High Advice

Dear Mobius High Advice,

I am a new teacher who wants the best for her students. I have all the necessary training and degrees to teach, but I don't know what I could do if my students acted out or had no motivation to learn. What should I do if this problem was ever to happen?

-Compassionate Rabbit

Dear Compassionate Rabbit,

It is true that some students at Mobius High are not focused on learning. Some may sleep during lectures, cheat off other students, or even skip class. The best thing to do is to give warnings to those students, and if they don't shape up, a detention is a fine punishment. If all else fails, sending an insubordinate student to the office is always a final solution. Principal Robotnik has a way with convincing his students to stay on the task of school and not cause trouble.

-Mobius High Advice


	6. New Newspaper Policies

First Policy:

The Mobius High Times is now accepting Letters-to-the-Editor. Write a letter directed to The Mobius High Times editor and he will respond as soon as the next issue releases. Letters should start with "Dear Mobius High Times," and end with your name and title. Letters can concern how the writing process is done, questions to any staff member, rebuttals to opinion or entertainment articles, fan mail or anything else you would like to talk about. Send letters as private messages to Reporter Digs.

Second Policy:

The Mobius High Times is in search for more writers, editors, artists and ideas. Have a knack for writing like a journalist? Talk to Digs and ask to have a guest article appear in the paper. We are also open to any editors that would like to read the paper in advance to make corrections. The paper has an astonishing lack of pictures, and we would love for any artist of any ability to submit fan art. You can also submit article ideas in the newspaper's comment section. All ideas are welcome and we will try to cover all requested articles.

Third Policy:

The Mobius High Times is going to make a harder commitment to posting more articles and higher quality articles that keep readers like you reading. We apologize for the lack of articles, and you should expect a minimum of two articles a month from this point forward.


	7. Mobius High students share holiday tales

The month of December has always been a popular month for holidays. The end of the year quickly approaches, and families and friends come together to reflect over the year.

Mobius High is proud of its very diverse student body. While Christmas is the most widely celebrated holiday this time of year, each student has their own little special twist on how the celebrate, and for those who do not celebrate Christmas, they have Chanukah and Kwanzaa.

In order to recognize all winter holidays, three of the main halls have been decorated by members of International Club. The science hallway has a dazzling Christmas Tree, the math hallway has an oversized Menorah, and the English hallway is decorated with designs related to Kwanzaa.

President of International club, sophomore Marine the Raccoon, hopes that "the halls give the students a brand new look at different cultures.

"I just love the Christmas season!" said junior Amy Rose, "One of my favorite things to do is to bake cookies for all of my classes. I even make sure to bake hypoallergenic ones so everyone can enjoy them!"

Even though freshman Miles Prower doesn't celebrate Christmas, he said he still loves "tasting some of Amy's great cooking." Because Power is of the Jewish faith, he celebrates Chanukah during the winter season.

"My favorite thing to do for Chanukah is to spin the dreidel," said Prower, "I have the perfect spin maneuver to where I can take everything in the pot."

Senior Sonic the Hedgehog said he loves winter not only for the holidays, but also the shimmering snow. "Whenever it snows, I love to get my friends and go out sledding. We slide down some of the biggest hills and town until we get too cold to keep going. My mom invites us all inside and gives us the best homemade hot chocolate," he said.

Shadow the Hedgehog and Knuckles the Echidna are two of the few students at Mobius High that celebrate Kwanzaa.

"Kwanzaa is such a rockin' holiday!" said Knuckles, "The colors for it, red, green, and black, go perfectly with my gym clothes." Knuckles' red fur, green shoes, and black t-shirt and pants showed off his holiday spirit.

Shadow the Hedgehog put on a green sweater to go with his black and red quills to get his holiday spirit going. "Every Kwanzaa, I go to the festival down in Station Square," he said, "I have been in the figure skating team there for a few years now."


	8. Boys Basketball breaks records and wins

Defeating the Station Square Shiners and breaking two school records starts up the new season for The Mobius High Saints Boys Basketball team.

In a heated game against the Station Square Shiners, the Mobius High Saints managed to pull a comeback win of 41-19. Point guard and senior Sonic the Hedgehog said "We were falling behind the first half, but Coach Chuck gave an amazing speech that got us all pumped to get the win."

"Coach Chuck has captivating speeches," said junior Silver the Hedgehog, "unlike most coaches, he gets kind hearted and determined when we are losing, not angry and furious. I think his calmness and composure is what encourages us to win."

The team made an array of shots after the half with even a slam dunk by senior Knuckles the Echidna. "I had no idea I could jump so high!" said Knuckles, "I felt like I was weightlessly flying in the air. I hope I can make another slam dunk soon."

Senior Storm the Albatross broke the school record for most assists in a single game. "I am not the best shooter," said Storm, "but I can pass over all the shorter opponent players." With a whopping 6' 6" in his height, Storm is also the tallest player to be on the Saints since 1991.

Coach Chuck the Hedgehog said that he is "aiming for excellence and sportsmanship" this season. The tragic lost last year at districts still stomps on the team's spirits. Coach Chuck said he is working to improve the team morale through motivation and teamwork. "A loss is a loss," said Coach Chuck, "while winning districts would be ideal, as long as my team stays happy, I am happy."

Come cheer on the Mobius High Saints at their next game and keep an eye out for The Mobius High Women's Basketball team that plays before the boys on Friday, Jan. 16.


	9. Boys swim goes to State, two qualify

The Mobius High Boys Swim and Dive team has one diver and one swimmer going to State this year. Junior Razor the Shark has qualified for diving and Sophomore Johnny has qualified for swimming in the State competition.

Razor made his first big break on the swim team when he beat two previous school records in diving. His scores at regionals this year were even higher than before in diving, and he will be heading to State for a second time.

"As a shark, it's only natural I'd be one of the greats," Razor said.

Johnny showed his speedy abilities by getting the fastest lap time average over all schools.

"I am the fastest thing out there! I see every lap as a race to the finish, and I love to win," said Johnny.

Not only did the team have two people qualify for State, but the Mobius Swim Team had a great season. They have defeated five other schools in regionals and have lost to only one.

Coach Captain Whisker said he expected to have such a strong winning record. "Arr, that Razor sure has made this team to the top! It's great to have a young lad with his skill."

Coach Whisker added that the swim team lost a lot of members after last year's graduation. 70 percent were seniors and some previous swimmers did not return.

Senior Big the Cat was a returnee from last year. "It is a shame to see all my friends go, but I am glad we have Razor to help us win," Big said.

In other swimming news, some swimmers like to set personal records to see if they can break. "PR's are a great way to measure your ability as a swimmer," said Razor, "just shaving two or three seconds off your lap time can be weeks of hard work and determination."

Senior Chaos said he was trying to reduce his lap time by ten seconds. He anticipates a lot of work ahead of him and hopes to evolve his swimming abilities.

Razor and Johnny will both be at the State competition on March 15 hosted by our school at 5 p.m. Support your Saint Swimmers by coming to see our two qualifiers get wet.


	10. Technology beware: Sticks is here

Starting this semester, Mobius High will have a transfer student from a remote island village. Being secluded for so long, the new transfer student, sophomore Sticks the Badger, has had some hard times adjusting to the modernized school system.

"I thought the computer class room was full of death hungry robots, so I accidently destroyed each one," she said. In her homeland, technology has been used extensively for malicious intentions. With this being explained through the foreign advisor, Sticks has been excused for her outburst.

"I am going to miss living on the island," Sticks said. "I have so many memories of setting fires to evil bushes and attacking this dark character that would always follow me around during the day. Wait a minute, what is that? It's him! It's the dark character! I'll get you this time!"

Sticks was referring to her shadow as the dark character. The guidance counselors have tried explaining this to her, but she has seen no change in opinion.

Junior Amy Rose has taken in Sticks while she attends Mobius High. The Rose family has opened up their home to Sticks.

"While I do enjoy having Sticks around, her culture is so vastly different from ours," said Amy. "She keeps throwing my hair dryer out the window claiming 'it was plotting to kill her.' She does the same thing with her breakfast."

Even with all the new technology, Sticks has found a sense of home by joining Mobius High's boomerang club.

Sophomore Marine the Raccoon, founder of the club, said that "Sticks is an amazing team player! Her throws and catches are better than any wallaby could do, and that is for sure!"

Please do your Mobius High part and warmly welcome Stick the Badger into our family. Principal Robotnik has recommend to not use your phones around her and said that the school is not responsible if she destroys your phone with a boomerang.


	11. Advice Column 2

Dear Mobius High Advice,

I absolutely hate going to school with my two twin brothers! They constantly get on my nerves. Just the other day, one of them got into my locker somehow and put a bunch of tennis balls inside, so when I opened it, they all fell on top of me! I was so embarrassed and the tennis coach made me pick all of them up, even though it was not my brothers' fault. What can I do to stop these pestering hedgehogs?

-Pink Princess

Dear Pink Princess,

Having siblings in school is always setting up for a bad time, especially if they are pulling pranks on you daily. While the Mobius High Times does not condone revenge, a simple prank back could not hurt your situation. One of the best pranks we have come up with for you is to write love letters to both of your brothers saying you are a secret admirer. Tell them to meet you at a café or restaurant, but you will actually be setting them up with each other. When they arrive, they will find out they are both there for the same girl and argue over who should date her. Just make sure you get the whole thing on film so you can have something against them for later. Once again, The Mobius High Times does not condone revenge, pranking, or blackmail. We are a professional newspaper. (But still, totally do this. We want to see it happen).

-Mobius High Advice

Dear Mobius High Advice,

My classes are starting to inundate me. With all my honors and AP classes, I barely have time to do the things I love, like building machines and hanging out with my fast friends. I guess I could really use some study and organization tips. What can you recommend I do to get my busy schedule not so busy?

-Two Tailed Mechanic

Dear Two Tailed Mechanic,

Sounds like you have some tough classes. Never fear: we have to solutions you seek. The first thing you should look into is getting a Study Hall. Mobius High gives Study Hall classes to all AP and honors students. The class has no credit, but it gives you time to finish a lot of work during the school day. As for organizing, we recommend that you look into buying a desk calendar or planner. A calendar or planner can help you remember due dates for assignments, test dates, and help you keep track of when you should be doing homework and for what class. One extreme study tactic we know of is to read ahead one chapter during the weekend so you are better prepared for class and can work in and out of class more diligently. The tactic only works if you consistently stay ahead, but once you get into the system, you will have a surplus of time to spend on the things you love so dearly.

-Mobius High Advice


	12. Art Club sponsors graffiti event

Thanks to Mobius High's Art Club, the cafeteria walls aren't as bleak as they were before. On April 24th, Art Club made their way into the lunch room with spray paint and masks to redecorate the bare walls.

"We sent in a request form to district offices last month for the project we had in mind, and they finally sent the approval on April 20th," said senior Art Club President Rouge the Bat. "They said it took time to make sure our proposed plans were school appropriate."

When Art Club received their approval, they set for their next meeting to get painting. Each Art Club member made a unique design and was given 100 square feet to paint. The results of the event have the cafeteria at Mobius High looking colorful and urban.

Some popular designs include "Hearts and Jewels" by Rouge, "Prison Walls" by senior Scourge the Hedgehog, "Music Matters" by senior Manic the Hedgehog, and "Composition #123" by freshman Charmy Bee.

Rouge's mural of gemstones, hearts, and emeralds with scintillating highlights is said to capture her "undying love for all things fashionable and desirable."

"Being locked up in juvi changed my outlook," said Scourge. His piece included a dark figure holding bars with the word "TRAPPED" painted above in stylistic lettering. "I wanted my piece to capture the struggle I experienced when I was away."

"With so many music programs being cut nowadays it only seemed right to show why music matters to students. What better way to show that than with 100 square feet of spray painted brick?" said Manic. His piece included a drum set, guitar, and keyboard with music notes irregularly placed in the background.

Charmy Bee's composition was a mixed media project with spray and acrylic paints. The mural is a chaotic art form which is abstract, formless, without direction, and includes stickers of stars, lines, and circles.

"I love splatter painting because I can fly all around the wall and throw paints!" said Bee. "Stickers are great too. I think they really make my piece pop!"

There is also a 100 square foot mural dedicated to the history of Mobius High. A stencil sprayed outline of a picture honoring the school's creation is on the center back wall of the cafeteria. The mural also has the school's crest and previous principals. Principal Robotnik's name is said to be placed on it after his retirement.


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